Olivia* was stuck in a funk, so she sought advice from a trusted friend who instructed her to just “love herself more” and “focus more time on self-care.”
While her friend may have been well-intended, this type of pop-culture advice doesn’t get to the root of our problems – and it can even leave Christians more discouraged in the end.
So just what is wrong with “self-love” and why should Christians avoid it?
To start, of course we’re not talking about basic self-care.
Getting enough sleep, eating healthy food, and exercising should be part of living a healthy lifestyle.
But often times when we find ourselves either caught in sin, or struggling during a challenging season – instead of pointing us to Jesus – our friends point us to ourselves.
Sure, buying a new outfit or going to the salon might make us “feel better’ in the moment…
… but what is it really accomplishing?
When we find ourselves hurting, we might think if we just find the “right” self-help book, find the “right” Christian counselor, or get into the “right” relationship – our problems will be solved.
But nothing could be further from the truth.
Again, there is nothing inherently wrong with these things.
Getting Christian counseling to help you work through past traumas (or deal with current ones) is wise.
But sometimes we get so focused on ourselves, exerting all our energy inward – we forget to look upwards to our Maker.
Do we really think a human can heal us from our pain?
Have we forgotten the power of God – our ultimate healer?
While it isn’t always pleasant, on this side of heaven, those of us in Christ should be constantly dying to ourselves, letting the Lord burn off all of our sinful flesh patterns.
Sanctification can be painful – but it helps make us more holy – and lets God transform us from the inside out.
“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” – Galatians 2:20
When we are in Christ – our life is about bringing HIM glory, not about us.
Jesus made it clear the stakes of following him are high.
“And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23
So how do we take up our cross and follow him?
Instead of pursuing our dreams and ambitions, we pray for God to align the desires of our heart with His will.
And our Lord is faithful and has promised to give us the desires of our heart – when we truly submit ALL to Him.
“Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
When you let go of trying to control the outcome… and give up the worldly advice of just “loving yourself” more – you’ll be amazed at what God can do.
Often times, we find ourselves in a challenging season because the Lord is trying to teach us something.
Whether it’s to help us mature in our faith, learn how to have godly empathy for those who are hurting, or even be more financially responsible – no season of life is wasted.
Be encouraged – regardless of your pain or struggles, God is with you.
He will never leave or forsake you.
You don’t need more “self-love” – you need Jesus.
Everything else is supplemental.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” – John 3:16-17
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