For Christians who are single, it might be tempting to “settle” for someone who is a lukewarm believer – or even one who is “still searching” for their faith.
But one of the worst mistakes you could ever make is to be yoked to a person who is not a fellow believer.
So before you even consider compromising on one of the most important warnings God gives us in His Word, check out how this decision could ruin your faith – and even your life.
You Can’t Truly Become ‘One’
If Jesus is the most important thing in your life – you will talk about Him and your life will reflect a heart for Christ.
But if you choose to date, or even worse marry, someone who doesn’t share the same passion for Jesus, how can you truly connect with that person on a deep spiritual level and become one?
There will always be a gap.
You might think you can “lead them” to Christ by your life choices…
… and while they may “appreciate” the way you live your life – only Jesus can change their heart.
If this person can’t pray with and for you, or understand Biblical principles like accountability, giving, and making disciples of men, you’ll find a constant struggle in your relationship likely resulting in conflict and quarrel.
Imagine being married to someone who refuses to let the family’s resources go towards missions or tithing to a local church?
You might be caught up in the “romance” stage of courting – but if you are truly a believer, you will start to feel more and more discomfort as you realize your values don’t mesh.
Future Generations Will Be Harmed
The most important job of parents is raising their children to know and love the Lord.
But how can you do this well when only one parent believes in Jesus?
Imagine the confusion a child will face, not understanding if Jesus is real, why only one parent believes this.
And when it comes time to make important choices like education, an unbelieving spouse may see no problem with the public school system, or not understand why it’s a big deal if anti-family values like same-sex marriage and “transgenderism” are being taught or promoted.
One of the greatest gifts you can give to your future children is choosing a spouse who is sold out for Jesus, and wants their family to live the same way.
You Are Disobeying God
Does God care who you marry?
Which is why Scripture is full of verses describing His expectations for both a husband and wife.
But ladies, if you marry an unbeliever, how can he love you like Christ loved the church – if he doesn’t already love Christ?
And gentlemen, how can you expect your wife to submit to you, as onto the Lord, if she doesn’t understand what Biblical submission means?
God’s Word is crystal clear.
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership can righteousness have with wickedness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?” – 2 Corinthians 6:14
It’s better to stay single and serve God, than to compromise and marry a nonbeliever.
While you may truly care about this person and think your situation can be the “exception” and still work, in the end, it will only lead to more pain and heartache in your life – and could even shipwreck your own faith.
Of course, the best way to safeguard against this is to surround yourself with trusted godly believers and accountability partners who can walk alongside your courtship with you – and point out any red flags you may not yet see.
And a special word to Christians who are already married to a non-believer – God says you should remain married.
There are several verses of encouragement for you on this topic such as:
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”1 Peter 3:1-2
“To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.” 1 Corinthians 7:12-15
While this isn’t a license to disobey God and become unequally yoked to begin with, if you do happen to be married to a non-believer – either because you married one knowingly, or perhaps you were both non-believers when you got married but one of you has since been saved – may the above verses bring you peace.
As for those not yet married – take the Word of God seriously and do not become unequally yoked.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” – John 3:16-17
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