As Christian women, if we are called to marriage, it is crucial that we find a husband who shares our values and can serve as the spiritual leader of our family.
Marriage is a scared vow between two people to stand beside each other for better or for worse for the remainder of their earthly lives.
Because of that, we must take care when it comes to selecting our partner in life.
A marriage vow may include the words, “I take you to be my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”
This is a vow that says we promise to commit to one another for the rest of our lives and see each other through any hardships that may come our way.
It is a bond not meant to be broken, and if we find the right person, we will have a friend, a partner, and a lover to accept us for who we are and remain by our side for the duration of our lives.
But searching for a man with a likeness of character and a devotion to Christ can be hard to find in a secular world, so having an idea of what to look for can aid in one’s search.
First, it is crucial for a woman to have an idea of where she sees a relationship going in order to find a proper husband.
If a woman finds herself dating a man she has no intention of marrying or whom has no intention of marrying her, then perhaps it is time she asked herself what kind of future this relationship holds, and why is she still in it?
Finding a man who is looking for a woman to settle down with is the first and most important step when it comes to choosing a husband, as a woman needs her partner’s plan for their relationship to align with hers.
A man who is only dating for fun is probably not the kind of man who is ready to commit to one woman and impart Godly values upon his future children – and she should not waste her time on him when she could be with a man who will do all of these things.
But once a woman finds herself in a relationship with a man she can see herself marrying, it is then crucial for her to learn if they share the same values.
While it is possible to build a loving partnership with someone who may like different things, a woman should spare herself the heartache of attempting to establish a relationship with someone whose value system does not match hers.
Values are important as they not only define our worldview, but they are tied to what we see as important to us and determine how we plan to raise our children.
A woman who is devoted to her Christian faith will find that building a marital foundation with a man who is an atheist to be difficult or impossible altogether, as he does not share her love of Christ, nor is he likely to teach his children the wisdom of our Lord.
In order to build a union with someone that is blessed by Christ, it is first important for a woman to establish that the man she intends to marry shares the same love for Him as she does.
This is what Paul means when he tells Christians to not become “unequally yoked.”
And while it may be obvious the complications that can arise in a marriage with an atheist, there can also be complications in a marriage with a Christian of another denomination if the denomination’s practices or beliefs are different enough to cause disagreement.
For example, if you and your future husband plan to have children, you will need to make the decision on whether to have your infants baptized in a formal church, such as the Catholic Church, or dedicated in a church that does not believe in infant baptism.
And you will have to decide which church you, your future husband, and your future children will be attending. It is important to be on the same page on this question as a family should attend church and worship together.
While we at Christian Life Daily seek unity at all times between all denominations of Christians and do not take sides on these questions, a decision will have to be made for you and your family.
Those decisions should be discussed during courtship to prevent potential future disagreement.
Once the values of the man a woman sees herself marrying have been made clear, then she should take careful time in seeing what kind of man her partner is and whether or not his traits and his passions qualify him as “husband material.”
Obviously, a woman should be able to have faith that her partner is not the cheating type, and that once he has made a commitment to one woman, he will honor it.
Before a woman consents to having a ring placed on her finger, she should also know if the man she is with is kind and slow to anger when stressed.
She should also be able to determine if he is the kind of man who will make sacrifices for her to secure her happiness, and she will also need him to be protective so he may stand beside her when she falters.
One very important way in which a man shows he is willing to make a sacrifice for your future together is by choosing to abstain from sexual intimacy before marriage.
As a relationship heats up and love begins to blossom, this becomes a more and more difficult thing for both of you to commit to.
However, if the relationship has a foundation of agreement that abstinence before marriage is something you both are committed to, it will be easier to keep that commitment.
Any man who is unwilling to wait until marriage has given you a free warning that he does not have what it takes to restrain his passions within a marriage – and thus you have dodged a bullet when it comes to picking a husband.
Assessing his habits will also tell her if she is with a man she should marry, as the kinds of things he routinely spends his time doing will likely reflect his personality.
See if attending church regularly is a duty he abides by, and whether or not he devotes himself to his familial relationships by spending time with his family in order to gauge his personality.
It is also likely a woman will be in need of a man who does more than lounge around the house all day, as building a solid foundation with Christ in one’s relationship requires one to be active.
One good way for Godly men and women to spend time with one another is to participate in a charity together, as sharing the mercy and compassion of God should be something a man and woman can do together.
In addition, you should do a Bible study together and seek pre-marital counseling from the pastor of the church you both plan to attend as a married couple.
Devotions for Dating Couples is a wonderful guide to work through all the things a courting couple should consider as they get to know God’s will for their relationship and are led to marry.
The ultimate goal of a marriage is to aspire to be a better person, as loving someone requires a woman to take on responsibilities that will make her a better person by caring for someone else.
But marriage also encourages us to see the good in another person as we accept them as our partner in Christ.
Do not settle for someone who has no intention of seeing the good in their partner and devoting themselves to the woman they intend to love.
The man we choose to marry should be kind, slow to anger, and carry a devotion to his faith that will guide the family he begins with the woman he calls his wife.
We should not settle for any less, and in order to find the Godly husband we deserve to have, we should not neglect abiding by a certain standard when choosing our partner in life.
